Artist & Tune
Version by Flanders and Swann
Version by Ian Wallace
Version by Anna Huntley
About the Song
The Jungle was giving a party, a post hibernation ball
The ballroom was crowded with waltzing gazelles, gorillas & zebras & all
But who is that animal almost in tears, pretending to powder her nose?
A poor little warthog who sits by herself in a pink satin with blue bows
Again she is no-body's choice & she sings in a sad little voice:
No one ever wants to court a warthog, though a warthog does her best
I've spent a lot of money for a warthog, I am perfumed & prettily dressed
I've just drinsed my hair, I'm perfumed here & there
My gums were tinted when I brushed my teeth
I'm young & in my prime, but a wallflower all the time
'Cos I'm a warthog, Just a warthog, I'm a warthog underneath
[Take your partners for a ladies Excuse me!]
Excited & radiant she runs on the floor to join the furor & fuss
He taps on each shoulder & says 'Excuse me!' & each couple replied 'Excuse us!'
Then having no manners at all, they sing as they dance round the hall:
'No one ever wants to court a warthog, though a warthog does her best
Her accessories are dazzling for a warthog, whe is perfumed & daringly dressed
We know her these & those are like Marilyn Monroe's
Her gown is just a scintillating sheath
But she somehow fails to please, 'cos everybody sees
She's a warthog, just a warthog, she's a warthog underneath'
Head hanging she wanders away from the floor, this warthog whom nobody loves
Then stops in amazement, For there at the door
Stands a gentleman Warthog impeccably dressed, In the act of removing his gloves
His fine chiseled face seems to frown as he looks her first up then down
'I fancy you must be a sort of warthog, though for a warthog you look a mess
That make-up's far to heavy for a warthog, you could have chosen a more suitable dress
Did you have to dye your hair? If that's perfume give me air!
I strongly disapprove of scarlet teeth. But let us take the floor 'Cause I'm absolutely sure
That you're a warthog, uust a Warthog, the sweetest little, neatest little
Dearest & completest little warthog ... underneath